Category Archives for Growth & Transformation

Featured Story

Boy 10, Kills Himself

Today something saddened me to the point of tears when I realized a boy, very similar to my son killed himself after being bullied for months, maybe years. The boy was harassed, choked, beat and belittled by racial slurs. His mother was in constant contact with the school. Month’s prior, she reached out to the media to get the word out and request action from the school and involve the police. It was NOT enough. Seven killed himself on January 19, 2019.

I felt his mother’s grief as if it were my own, not because we both have 10-year-old sons, not because they share the same complexion, hair and eye color. But because I too live in Louisville, my son attends Kerrick Elementary school and bullied for several years. This tragedy could have been my own.

My son knows how to defend himself. He takes martial arts and is very skilled but he lacks the conviction to hurt another person. Does that make him weak? Of course not. That shows me he is stronger than I could ever be. He would rather suffer then to cause another being pain and suffering.

My son is a true hero and so is Seven Bridges who sacrificed his own life because he refused to cause someone else suffering. We should all take the time to learn from our children who believe in spreading more love than pain and hate.
Children and teenagers around the world, from various ethnic backgrounds, are bullied for numerous reasons. If we can not pave the way and learn to get along, how can we teach our children? Forcing our children to carry the burdens from our ignorance. They are paying the price with their sanity and lives.

As parents we must force schools to have effective policies in place for bullying. Gone are the day’s we ignore the pleas of students and parents voicing legitimate incidents. These are the day’s we demand action and change. It’s time we force schools to listen. Time we tell them we will not sacrifice any more of our children for this cause.

When a parent places a child in an unsafe situation or unsafe environment, the State removes the child from the parent. They do not return the child until the parents proves to the State, they can provide a safe environment. School’s do not provide safe environments for our children, yet law requires us to send our children to school. If not, we're prosecuted by the State. As a parent, I feel the school system should suffer a similar fate for failing to keep our children safe. State schools should provide more options for free online courses where children can learn in the safety of their home. Especially when children fear for their safety and have a history of being bullied. This would limit senseless tragedies like this one and save our beautiful children, such as Seven Bridges.

Please join me in supporting the family of Seven Bridges by helping them to receive justice for this horrific tragedy.

What makes you happy?

What makes you happy or brings you peace of mind?

This is where I normally get the deer in headlight’s look or the huh expression.

Your response to the above question should be automatic, not your life, every single day.

When you're asked what makes you happy, be ready with an honest answer. There is no right answer because it depends upon the individual. However, your happiness shouldn't revolve around other actualities, such as your significant other, children, pets and achievements.

I know some of you are thinking my children and spouse make me happy. And that’s a great feeling but it can’t be your only source for happiness. Your happiness is then contingent upon someone else. It should come from within you, then nobody can prevent or damper your joy.

What makes me happy? The feeling of accomplishment I get when I walk or exercise. Followed by an unexplainable peace. I find a similar peace when I listen to music or witness one of nature’s moments. Such as flowers blooming in the spring, the change of colors in the fall, a sunset, an eclipse, or any awe-inspiring mother nature wonder. If I am overcome with the urge to pull out my phone and capture the moment in a photo, then yes, I'm inspired. I also find joy and fulfillment when I read books, learn something fascinating and create thoughtful gifts for someone, for no occasion.

Start small, with the simple things. Whatever sparks something within you. When you discover your happiness or feelings of peace store it in your long-term memory for retrieval later.

We all could use more reasons throughout our days and life to smile and have inner peace. Once you can conjure the spark which ignites your happiness with a single thought, you have the power to change your day. Habitual positive daily changes, in turn, lead to positive lifestyle changes.

One memory can be the source for a positive day. Every time something threatens to ruin your day, retrieve your happy memory or memories. Who says you can only have one? The happier the memories you have in storage the more positive energy you have on standby.

Build your reserve for happiness, today. Write two or three happy provoking things fitting the criteria I stated in the above post. Afterward, remember them; even if you must write them on a post-it note, store them on your phone, or get them printed on a t-shirt. Do whatever is necessary to embed them into your long-term memories.

You and I are going on an adventure which will transform you from the “go with the flow” type to a fulfilled, trailblazer making their own path. During your transformation you will require happiness and inner peace, both are mandatory for your success.
You can do this. I know you can. I believe in you. Now believe in yourself and go find your happiness.

~Til Next Time!

You’re A Failure! So what!!

You're A Failure! So What!

What’s so terrible about living on autopilot you may be thinking. Nothing, if you enjoy doing the same routine every day for the rest of your life.

Six years ago, I was living on autopilot and experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions. Majority of the time I was angry and depressed. Through my journey of anger and other emotional woes, I found joy in food. It didn’t matter if it was fried fatty foods, chocolate treats covered in ice cream, bowls of sweet juicy fruit or large salads served in what resembled small punch bowls (no dressing that’s where the calories hide I convinced myself). Before long, I only found happiness in food, and food became my addiction.

Since food became my new bestie, I gained more than 65lbs during my pregnancy. After the birth of my son, the weight stayed, and I didn’t like my new appearance. I avoided mirrors whenever I could.

In retrospect, I should have cried then, but I didn’t. Months later is when you find me a mess in my bathroom crying over my appearance, my health, and depression. I needed to cry it gave me the strength to open my eyes and mind to my new reality. I had to make necessary changes to my weight, health and overall life, so I did.

I stopped living on autopilot.

Another issue I endured while living on autopilot was memory loss. I couldn’t remember different moments of my life. I was so used to doing the same things every day, I couldn’t recall completing those tasks. Soon large chunks of my day were missing from my memory and I didn’t understand how I could forget so much. Especially when I was normally so detailed and focused.
Each of us has limited time on Earth and we don’t know when that moment expires. I don’t want to die with a bunch of regrets and wondering “what if”.

When my time is up, I want to know I followed my dreams and lived. Yes, there will be failure. Lots of it for some of us but so what. We began our life as failures. As a baby, we learn everything. We aren't born knowing how to talk, walk or take care of ourselves. We learn to accomplish those tasks through trial and error. Imagine how the world would be if most of our babies gave up every time they couldn’t accomplish something.

The same resilience and perseverance we develop as babies has to stay with us through adulthood. If not, our failures have a way of deflating our confidence and self-worth. That’s when we become dependent upon the safe choices and the safe life. The life with little chance of failure but there is also little gained from this life.

Success is not determined by your level of intelligence or how accomplished you are because everyone has failed at some point in their life. Yes, even billionaires can be failures. Anybody that say’s different is lying or too preoccupied to know they are failures.

Remember everyone makes mistakes and has moments that go wrong, maybe disastrous but convince yourself it will be better next time. Yes, there will be a next time. Prepare yourself for the moment and you will achieve success.

Everyone has a talent and a purpose, just discover what yours is. If you don’t know where to start, then start with your dreams. What are your dreams? Can those dreams be turned into goals? If so, how do you plan to accomplish your goals? Start now, today, don’t wait.

Your life has been placed on hold long enough, now go accomplish your dreams.
~Til next time!